Why I can't holiday in Queensland ever again

Excuse me for being somewhat bemused when I heard that the netball controlling body in Queensland has banned orange consumption during the breaks in the game. Yep, the orange is one of the most dangerous things you can ever consume during a netball game.

What could possibly be the problem? You see, when you play sport your body heats up and you lose sweat, so your body is beginning to dehydrate. To help conserve water the body reduces saliva production making the mouth dryer. If you then eat an orange, the naturally acidic orange juice could erode some tooth enamel, as it isn’t washed away by saliva. How do you get around this? Simple. BAN THE EVIL ORANGE! Security! Check that parent’s bag.

Or you could get the girls to drink some water after eating the orange. The water would wash away any residual orange juice and also help replace sweat losses and reduce dehydration. I know it is a really radical and bizarre suggestion, but I think it is worth exploring, don’t you? The water bottle at netball. Could I really have been the first to think of it?

I have two daughters who played netball. I even supplied the oranges (go on, report me to the authorities). No rotten teeth. Maybe they just didn’t play hard and sweat enough. And after this short article, I guess I can never return to Queensland. Pity. A great part of the world. It even has small pockets of common sense. Ask your travel agent where to find them.